The Blog Post That Almost Wasn't

Playing in the background: Something on the Documentary Channel about prostitution in Russia. Which is a downer. Looking for something else.

Well, gang, you almost didn't get to read this blog post. I got most of the way done with it and then almost deleted the whole thing. But here it is anyway.

Being unemployed, or rather under employed, like I am now is kind of disorienting. You;re cut off, in a way, from ordinary folk. You aren't going to a regular job that you can be reasonably certain will be there next week or the week after that. Of course, Buddhism tells us that all jobs end, all people die, all things change and all double espressos will eventually be consumed, but most of us count on stuff anyway, usually to our sorrow. Anyway, disoriented and all that, I was wandering around on the web one day and I came across this link.

My first thought was, "Oh, how nice, another outfit seeking to separate me from what little money I currently have." But I started doing some research and prowling around a little more and lo and behold, this started to sound legit. The application process was daunting, but it wasn't like they were going to accept me anyway, so what was the harm? Besides, maybe I'd finally figure out how to write a goddamn synopsis.

So, with a great deal of angst along the lines of writing query letters with Scaley the Paranoid T-Rex, I put the application together one night at Afrah, home of the best Middle Eastern food outside, uh, the Middle East. And, after several gentle reminders from Joan, I finally sent the silly thing in.

And then the strangest thing happened: They accepted me. And I let them accept me and put down a deposit so they would continue to accept me. (They like me! They really like me!) And I've been wandering around in a state of mild shock ever since.

Mind you, I still don't know if I'm actually going. There are certain obstacles (chief among them financial, and then we'll add to the list how in hell will I get there, as well as can I get the time off of work just on the off-chance I have a job), but strangely, some of the pieces have started to fall into place. My friend Marcia, who is awesome, has graciously offered to let me stay at her place in the French Quarter. Another friend, Tammy, has offered to lend the money to me, and given that she doesn't have a lot of money to lend, only right now she does, it's all starting to seem like the will of God or some such thing. I even have a friend who might let me work for him some Saturdays to help pay for it.

So, anyway, that's what's going on. And let's put this in bold caps: I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY WANT TO GO. Mind you, going is also scary as hell, but look, people, I'm not getting any younger. Either I'm gonna pursue this whole writing thing or I'm not and it's really time to find out which. I wish finding out which didn't cost quite that much but, you know, sometimes to gain everything you have to lose everything else, which is something else Buddha said.

Wish me luck, kids. It's going to be a interesting couple of weeks.