So There Are Dreams, And...

 ...there are messages. I think some dreams are messages.  From where?  Couldn't tell ya.  I just know I remember them for a long time, which I don't with ordinary dreams.  Even the sex dreams with the men/women/fantasy creatures are only significant because of that annoying part of my brain that's always in touch with reality.  Just as things are getting interesting, that part of my brain will pop up and say, "You can't be doing this.  You're married." And I'll be like, "Right, sorry, this has been fun but I have to get home to my wife." I make a terrible dream date.  

When I was a kid, I had a dream about Ygdrasil, the Tree of Life.  I didn't know it was Ygdrasil at the time, but then I didn't learn anything about Norse mythology until I was ten or twelve.  Norse mythology, in case you did not know this, is pretty gory and involves lots of sex and the end of the world, so probably not really kid material.  Even though, back in the Viking days, kids learned this stuff around the fire. Anyway, it looked like a corkscrew willow but it was taller than a redwood.  I couldn't even see where it reached the sky.  And hanging from all its little branches, as well as leaves, were thin crystal spires that seem to have grown there.  When the wind blew, all the little crystal spires touched each other and made sweet music.  It was pretty amazing but the tree was in terrible danger and somebody had to protect it from the bad guys, whoever they were, and I was the only one there. so I was gonna do it.  And then I woke up. 

I shouldn't tell you guys about my dreams.  Other people's dreams are boring. But: I had this crazy dream last night and I think you guys will like this one.  Some lady calls me and says, "I work for this dermatologist and he botched a couple of procedures.   One of the clients is threatening to sue or report him to the state, and he's just in a tailspin, and I'm scared of what he might do.  Will you come down and talk to him?"  "Of course," I say, and then, "Just out of curiosity, why did you call me?" "Because you're a Buddhist." Oh, okay, that makes perfect sense.  "I'm on my way."

And I'm driving over there wondering if the guy is going to attempt suicide.  I don't think I'm qualified to talk him out of it.  But maybe there's no time to find somebody qualified.  When I get there, though, it's obvious that's not his plan.  His office is full of body armor and guns and camo gear.  He looks like he's planning a commando raid, or a mass shooting.  

Now, I'm very scared.  This guy doesn't know me and if he is going to kill lots of innocent people, he can certainly harm me.  But, Thich Nhat Hanh talked about giving people the gift of non-fear, or not being afraid so that other people will not be afraid.  So I decide to non-fear my way through this thing.  He's facing the other way.  I ask him if he'll listen to me.  He says he will.  I say I understand some patients are maybe going to sue him, and that must have really hurt his feelings.  I say if it were me I would be worried about my reputation and my standing in the community.  I don't want to be thought of as a bad doctor.  I would have to do something to protect my reputation.  

"And what would you do?" he asks.  I say, "Well, I'd find the guy, and approach him in public so he wouldn't be scared, and I'd say something like, 'I know that the procedure didn't go the way we both hoped.  I'm really sorry about that. I never want anyone to have a bad outcome.  Let me refund your money and refer you to someone who can fix this, and if there's anything else I can do to make this right, please tell me what it is so that I can do it.'" He turns around, looking very surprised. I can see that he's been crying.  "You'd actually do that?"  "Well, I wouldn't like it very much," I say.  "I hate saying I'm sorry and I hate being wrong.  But if I wanted to protect my reputation, yes, that's what I'd do.  I don't want him to be mad at me.  I want to make him whole. And if I can do that, he won't be mad at me and he won't tell people I'm a bad doctor.  He'll tell people I'm a good doctor because I admitted I was wrong and tried to do the right thing."

The guy starts to cry and falls onto my shoulder.  He spills out this whole story, which I don't remember now, of what's going on in his life.  Everything is all messed up.  He's having mental issues, one of his kids is having mental issues, there are problems with his practice and he's just overwhelmed.  I don't say anything, just let him go until he winds down. Then he says, "I know where the guy is but I'm not supposed to drive because of my meds."  I say, "No problem.  I'll drive.  Where are we going?"  He gives me directions and we head out to a golf course in Plano.  I know not why.  Anyway, as we pull into the parking lot, I wake up.

And when I woke up, I was thinking, there are all kinds of problems in this world and this country and even this neighborhood.  I can't solve a lot of them because I don't have that kind of money or power.  But there are small things I can do, and I'm going to do those things because they're important.  I don't have a crystal ball, but I think we're heading toward a very dark time these next several years, and people who are not white or not Christian or not citizens or not from countries that people in government like are going to have a really hard time.  And anything I can do to make their lives easier is absolutely worth doing.  

Okay, maybe it's the new med talking. 

But still.