Olympic Meanderings

Playing in the background: Bobsleds

In case you didn't know this, we are Olympic junkies in this house. Pretty much every day for the last two weeks we've come home, turned on the TV and watched people do insane things with their bodies and various winter sporting equipment thingys. Minus my thwarted opening ceremony and those several days we spent in the dark of course. Pox on Oncor and all who sail with her.

Still, for all my Olympics junkiehood I have a bunch of questions that the commentators never seem to answer:

• Does ice dancing require ugly costumes or are they just kind of in fashion?
  
• Does anybody else see speed skater Lee Ho Sook and think about a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand?
• Ski Cross: Why? And more importantly, whose idea was this anyway?
  
• Figure skating: Why not just do it naked?
  Bobsleds: Does anybody ever miss when jumping into the back of the sled and end up getting dragged along behind the sled at 90 miles an hour?
• Are ski jumpers capable of slipping the surly bonds of earth and touching the face of God, or is that only if they fall?
• And most important, where's my commentator mute button? I'd pay my cable company big bucks for one of those.
  

Anyway, that's what goes through my mind as we soak in hour after hour of really bizarre sports programming. It's only every two years, ya know.