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Thursday, June 17, 2010

A Series Of Brilliant Observations About The Big Oil Spill.

By Jen (by God.)

Item: People who found President Obama's speech annoying were clearly expecting him to tell them what they wanted to hear, instead of the truth. We can handle anything from our politicians except maybe honesty.

Item: BP's coughing-up of $20 billion strikes me as some kind of a cop-out. If I were BP, I'd have said to hell with it, hired me the meanest, baddest pack of lawyers I could have laid my hands on and fought every lawsuit tooth and nail to the bitter end. I mean, it's not like my reputation would suffer or anything, and I'm sure my insurance company has long since bailed on me.

Item: Unfortunately that assumes I have $20 billion with which to fuck around, and I do not.

Item: Everybody who's clamoring for the government to seize control of the cleanup and throw BP off the job: Er, wait a minute. Aren't you the same bunch waving signs that say, "Government Hands Off My Medicare"?

On second thought, scratch that last one.

Item: The rig Deepwater Horizon was built by a South Korean company, owned by a Marshall Islands company and leased to BP, a British company, and the silly thing sits in international waters. So I'm still trying to figure out how the United States has any jurisdiction over it whatsoever.

Item: When a wind turbine or a solar panel springs a leak, it doesn't foul coastlines on four states and kill thousands of birds. I'm just sayin'.

Item: Yes, President Obama said it better. But were you listening? Noooo....

Item: Drilling for oil, a combustible substance, at extreme pressure, one mile beneath the surface of the ocean and under a layer of highly explosive frozen methane crystals; what could possibly go wrong?

Item: If we'd started working on the whole clean energy thing back in 1977 when President Jimmy Carter (another politician who had an annoying habit of telling the truth all the time, except maybe about the swimming rabbit, and that might have been simple heatstroke) first proposed it, we might not be in this mess.

Item: Yes, I am old enough to remember President Carter. Get over it.

Item: Of course, we could always wait another thirty or forty years and see what happens. But remember, if our kids get pissed at us, they can always cut off our Social Security.

Item: And for those of you who say we can't afford it, how many more times can we afford to clean up a spill of this size? I'm just sayin'. Y'all have a good night, now.


Junkill said...

I was a good little geek back in 1977. I was so excited about non-polluting cars and solar panels and wind, that was gonna be so futuristic.


志維 said...


李映 said...

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