Oh Baby, Talk Thursday To Me.

Today I've been handed a set of multiple iterations of the infamous Talk Thursday topic. In fact, six, count 'em, six topics. Rather than just pick one and go off on one of my cute li'l rants I thought I'd just, I dunno, do all of them at once. Here we go:

Talk Thursday To Me: The glam rock band "Poison," about which I know almost nothing, was one of the loosely classified "hair metal" groups of the late Eighties. I believe they were called that because their hair was considerably better than their music. (It was nice hair.) Because my friend Tammy might read this I'd better carve out a great big exception right now for Bon Jovi, who of course were and continue to be awesome.

Show Me The Contradiction: Even though I just ranted about the whole gay marriage thing, I gotta toss this one out. (In case you missed it, Judge Walker lifted his stay and it will be legal for gay and lesbian couples to marry each other in California once again starting August 18. Moving right along:) This quote from someone named McClusky at the Family Research Council, some anti-gay group or other: "Judge Walker is in fact making victims out of these people who might now go get married and then not know what the status of their relationship is." Um, I'm not sure where he's been, but Joan and I tried to get married in 1999, got "domestically partnered" in 2003, had basically no rights with that arrangement until 2004, then moved to Texas, where we may have some rights and we may not (Texas Constitution vs. "Full Faith and Credit" clause of the U.S. Constitution and Loving v. Virginia, 1963), got legally married in California again in July 2008, watched the state of our union go to popular vote and lose in November of that year, had a judge determine we were still married anyway some couple of months thereafter, and who the hell knows what'll happen when the Ninth Circuit takes a look at this latest ruling, if in fact they even bother to do so. If anybody is making us "victims", it sure isn't Judge Walker. Any time I can quitclaim my house back to myself and Joan as "a married couple" and joint-file my taxes, y'all just let me know, okay?

Yippie Ki-Yay, Mothers: The Lancet, a British medical journal, recently announced that home births were "too risky" for infants and that even though giving birth at home means fewer risks for women and a shorter recovery time, women "should not have the right to put their babies at risk." I'm stunned and amazed that any woman should think for a second that she can handle giving birth to her own child, thank you very much, instead of coughing up tons of dough to have it done in a hospital where she can be assembly-lined into the delivery room with the rest of the mothers, told to push on command and kicked out the door as soon as her insurance company gives the word. I mean, really. Next thing you know we'll have scads of women thinking they have the right to control their own bodies or something. I mean, the very idea.

You Should Always Listen To: Your iPod, especially if you have annoying co-workers. I have one who's not really annoying, just very frick'n LOUD. So loud that I can't hear my iPod over her. However, it does do a pretty good job of covering up the idiot on the floor above me who seems to know exactly where my desk is and BOUNCES A BASKETBALL for up to ten minutes at random times throughout the day. At least, I think it's a basketball. He might be playing tympanis.

And Now For Something Completely Different: I think next week is my week to pick a Talk Thursday topic. If you have any suggestions, feel free to comment.

None Of The Above: Flying to Salt Lake City Labor Day weekend. Maybe we'll get the cool flight attendant who yanked the slide and bailed from the plane with a beer. I mean, if he still has a job and isn't in jail and all that.

Oops, that turned into a rant after all. Oh well. We cannot all be enlightened.