Yeah, I'm gonna go off on a rant here. Don't worry, it won't take long. The subject once again is guns, but this time it's about taking them away from mentally ill people, seeing as we've had an epidemic of mass shootings lately and, hey, it's easy to blame the alternately sane. But, I gotta ask: Are you referring to me? I am, after all, bipolar I, which is the "bad" bipolar disorder, the one that gets all the attention, the research funding and the Charlie Sheen publicity. Obviously People Like That shouldn't be allowed to own weapons. Save 'em for the warmer, fuzzier, Catherine Zeta-Jones type mentally ill people.
(By the way, I love the way this article talks about "keep(ing) guns out of the hands of criminals and mentally ill people." Thanks, Michael Bloomberg, for lumping us all together. I'm sure the criminals appreciate it too.)
Oh, but wait. I'm "different." I don't wanna kill scads of other people, just occasionally myself, so there can't possibly be any harm in letting me have a 9-mm Glock. What's the worst that can happen? I blow my brains out and save some serious Obamacare bucks? Besides, what are you going to do, traipse around the country and stamp "Do Not Sell Guns To This Person" on the forehead of every depressed housewife who's ever taken Prozac?
If you ask me, I'm the one that needs the handgun, and a lot more than you do, because sooner or later the frick'n villagers are gonna descend on Flamingo Lane with their torches and pitchforks to drive me out of town because I'm clearly too dangerous to remain within the community. They better hope I'm not in my manic phase when this happens or I'll--I'll WRITE all over 'em.
Jen has spoken.