Namo amitabha Buddhaya, y'all.
This here's a religious establishment. Act respectable.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

It's My Birthday! And On June 12...

...Joan of Arc leads the French army to victory in the Battle of Jargeau.  (1429)

...Death warrants are issued for Samuel Adams and John Hancock by British general Thomas Gage, who also declares martial law in Massachusetts. (1775)

...the United Irishmen fight the Battle of Ballynahinch. (1798) 

...Ulysses Grant pulls his troops out of their positions at Cold Harbor, giving the Confederacy a victory. (1864)

...The Phillipines declare their independence from Spain. (1898)

...One of the deadliest tornadoes in U.S. history kills 117 people in New Richmond, Michigan. (1899)

...The Baseball Hall of Fame opens in Cooperstown, NY. (1939)

...German troops liquidate the Jewish ghetto in Brzezany, Poland, and kill 1,180 men, women and children at the city cemetery. (1943) 

...Medgar Evans is murdered in front of his house by a Ku Klux Klan member. (1963)

...The United States Supreme Court in Loving v. Virginia declares all U.S. state laws which prohibit interracial marriage to be unconstitutional. (1967)

...and then I come along.  Pretty cool, huh?  And since I've been around...
  • I played in a bagpipe band for eleven years.  Well, okay, I was in one bagpipe band for six years and the other one for five years.  Booze, drugs, wild sex, constant travel, loud music--it all kind of runs together, ya know?
  • I bought a condo in San Diego, California with Joan, and then sold it for twice what we paid for it, after I exasperatedly told our real estate agent that there was no way on earth anybody would shell out that much money for an 800-square-foot space with high ceilings. 
  • And so I was rich for about five minutes.  After which student loans and cars and credit cards and moves to Texas got paid for, and I was no longer rich, but that was okay.  
  • I went to England one summer and followed Big Country around.  And here it is, twenty-something years later, and I'm getting ready to follow Big Country around...three dates in Texas.  (Well, hey, I'm not a wide-eyed kid anymore.) 
  • Despite several attempts, I never got arrested for civil disobedience.  For some reason, by the time the police showed up and said "You have five minutes to clear the area," I always figured the point had been well made.
  • That, and there were maybe ten liberals on campus where I went to school.  And they weren't very good company.  If you're going to be locked up overnight, you need good company.
  • I went to music school for two years.  It's John Lennon's fault I didn't graduate. 
  • I've been through ten-plus cats.  There must always be cats.
  • I worked in a public law library for seven or eight years, during which I contended with:
    • A guy who was sure that the copy machine was reading his mind and transmitting his thoughts to the government.  He came in every Tuesday.
    • A man who stated that the CIA had bombed his town with nerve gas that caused everyone in the town to forget that this had ever happened, and that he needed to file a Freedom of Information Act request but he couldn't remember the name of the town, and the CIA kept denying that this had ever happened.  
    • A sweet little old lady that would come in, walk around the whole building and sprinkle holy water on everything while whispering something under her breath that sounded suspiciously like "motherfucker."  
    • A guy who'd been ticketed for having a dog at the beach, and was trying to prove that since he was actually in the water at the time, he was not "at the beach," and if that failed, that he was in "international waters," where the police had no authority.
  • I was born in Texas.  I live in Texas.  I want to die in Texas, and have my ashes buried under a live oak someplace because I ought to provide some nourishment for something, after all those trees went through all that fruit growing to nourish me.
  • Okay, I was born in Laredo and left almost immediately, but I still count as a native Texan.  That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.
  • Since we moved to Texas I was unemployed three times in five years, and never once did we fall behind on the mortgage payments.
  • Why? Because we bought a house we could effing afford, that's why. Imagine.
  • I wrote a trilogy of thriller novels that are called the Mindbender books while I was unemployed, and they're really good, so if you're a literary agent or a publisher or something, or if you know a literary agent or a publisher or something, drop me a line so we can both make a few bucks. Thanks.
  • I was a little manic while I was unemployed. Just a little.
  • I have a Garfield bowling ball that's bright orange and says, "Let the Fur Fly."
  • I can't bowl. Well, I can throw the ball down the lane and occasionally hit something, but so can your average chimpanzee.  
  • Bowling is a lot of fun, though.  I like it a lot.
  • I play on the law firm softball team, the mighty Law Dogs.  We are the worst team in the league by a comfortable margin, but we have a good time. 
  • I took a writing course once from the mighty F. Paul Wilson, which is kind of like taking a painting course from Vincent Van Gogh.  Totally awesome.
  • I've been married to the lovely Joan for the last 18 years.  Yep, that's long enough we could've had a baby and raised it to adulthood.
  • I have no interest whatever in having a baby and raising it to adulthood.  
  • I sometimes have dreams I have a son, though.  And he's a teenager, and he's taller than me. I have to look up at him to shake my finger under his nose. 
  • Joan and I actually got married three times.  I think the third one was "legal."  At least it was at the time.  What's the Supreme Court said lately?
  • I was really kind of disappointed that we couldn't get married in the church, but the pastor didn't want to get into a fight with the bishop and Joan didn't want to get married in the church anyway. 
  • The next same-sex couple that the pastor married, got married in the church.  About which I have no comment. 
  • Since October 2007 I've been dragging myself awake at five a.m. to swim a mile in the morning before work.  
  • If you added up all those miles I bet I could've swum to Hawaii by now.
  • I enter a swim race every year, a 2k distance race, which I sometimes manage to finish in under an hour. Dead last, I might add. 
  • Joan's ex-husband and his wife are friends of ours. It's very Noel Coward, no?
  • Just this afternoon, Joan scored us tickets to The Book Of Mormon. Sweet!
  • Joan got me a meditation cushion and mat for my birthday. Best. Gift. Ever.
  • I paint a little.  My favorite painting is one of a school of fish, swimming through the air in a desert landscape.
  • I used to have dreams that my fish could swim around in the air, that it did them no harm.
  • I miss my fish, but I think aquarium fish are incompatible with one of my cats.
  • Someday I wanna go tornado chasing.
  • I have a bad feeling I might actually catch one, and then what would I do with it?
  • I became an "official" Buddhist about two years ago.
  • Who ever thought that Buddhists would dig tornadoes?
  • Despite my occasional bitching, life is actually pretty good.
Cheers, all!


Cheyanne (Shy Ann) said...

Happy Belated Birthday Jen. Love reading your stuff.

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