Talk Thursday (the following Tuesday): Thirty Things About Me

Now, this'll be a challenge. Come up with thirty things about me that will actually keep you guys entertained. This may require going back to the distant past and dredging up old relatives. Well, that's okay. It's all in the spirit of the thing. Ready? Here goes:

1. I may look like I'm twelve, but I'm actually forty-two.
2. For some reason, I lie about my age--the wrong way.
3. I'm a paralegal at a plaintiff's law firm. Whenever there's trouble, we're there on the double.
4. I've never once stopped reading a Stephen King novel because it was too scary, but I've refused to start one or two because the concepts grossed me out. (I know, I know. A concept is not a story. A concept is not a story. A concept is not a story...)
5. I once got detained by airport security in Sweden and spent the night in their lovely holding area. It was really just a big misunderstanding, though.
6. I strongly recommend Sweden if you have to get detained by airport security. Holding area came complete with a private shower.
7. I used to be in a bagpipe band. And yes, I did play the bagpipes.
8. I had a literary agent once, but he dumped me to run for Congress. He didn't win, either.
9. I had a boyfriend once. He asked me to marry him three times. I said no an equivalent number of times.
10. A doctor cousin of mine is a co-discoverer of Reyes Syndrome.
11. I have a lot of cousins. Something like forty-two at last count.
12. Stuart Adamson and I once swapped smooches backstage. I don't normally kiss and tell, but he's dead, so....
13. I used to own an album by Yanni. Yep, I admit it. It's even in an official police report because it was in my dad's car when same was stolen.
14. Seen Gordon Lightfoot live four times. Yep, I admit it.
15. I was once second chair in the Allstate Symphony Orchestra. I played bassoon.
16. As a matter of fact, I went to music school for two years. Graduating with a degree in English is what happens when you can't graduate from music school.
17. When I lived in Phoenix, Big Country played in San Diego, so I caught the first leg of their tour by driving out there. Then I moved to San Diego, and Big Country played Phoenix on the last leg of their tour--so I drove back and saw them again.
18. In high school, I wanted to be a particle physicist.
19. When I didn't want to be a civil rights attorney.
20. When I didn't want to be lead bassoonist for the Lima Symphony Orchestra in Peru.
21. I quit drinking about five years ago. Not because I had a problem but because I didn't want one.
22. Joan and I spent a week in Ennis, Ireland when she came down with a kidney infection and ended up in the hospital there. The nicest people in the world live in Ennis, Ireland.
23. I used to be fairly good friends with a white supremacist end-times survivalist gun person, though I leaned that way not at all.
24. Sometimes I think I can be a little too open-minded.
25. My mom says I used to alphabetize her record collection when I was a toddler.
26. And that I was particularly fond of one record called "Metamorphosis." Which she thinks might have been my first word.
27. I mean geez, "Mama, Daddy, metamorphosis." No wonder I make her nervous.
28. I have on a shelf in my bedroom The Complete Idiot's Guide to Buddhism next to the Koran next to a Bible next to the Dhammapada next to Jimmy Carter's The White House Diaries. Still looking for a good copy of the Kabballah to go in there.
29. I voted for Obama. (Oo, there's a shock.) But I voted for Hillary in the primaries.
30. If I had it to do over again, I'd never have thrown that party after Kim moved out. Boy, was that a mistake.
31. Oh, and I'd have found another agent. Sooner.

There. That ought to keep you busy for a while.