Namo amitabha Buddhaya, y'all.
This here's a religious establishment. Act respectable.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Mayor Anita Massengil Resigns After Call-Boy Sex Scandal

Playing on the iPod: Ray Lynch

Just kidding, of course. I'm sure the mayor of Malibu, Adjacent is still lording it over 'Notch' Johnson and his elite team of lifeguards. (Son of the Beach, people. Find it. Watch it. Love it.) However, this makes for my question of the day: What is it about men, when they get into a position of power, that they can't keep their pants on? And do women have the same problem? Okay, that's two questions. Oh, look! A cloud!

In case you've been hiding under a rock lately, New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer resigned this morning after admitting to spending $80 grand on prostitutes at a swank Washington hotel. The latest in a long line of sordid tales. Probably the most famous example is Bill "I did not have sexual relations with that woman" Clinton, but examples abound. Gary Hart (presidential candidate, 1984 race). Jim Bakker (infamous televangelist). Franklin Roosevelt (his wife Eleanor moved out of their bedroom after she caught him having an affair with his secretary, Lucy, whom he apparently carried on with for the rest of his life).

Stay with me a second here. You're the President of the free world, or of some major Christian outfit that has more money than God (oops), or the Governor of New York. You have money. Power. People who scurry around every time you raise an eyebrow. You probably have a loving family, a wife, kids. You're probably held in high regard by your followers, whoever they are. So what is it about being in this position that makes you say, "I feel like throwing it all away and banging the next teenaged hooker who walks in the door and lying about it under oath"?

Honestly. I don't get it. Is it because I'm not male? Does that half of the planet really have something other than a brain making most of its decisions? It can't just be the power thing because women in similar positions don't do this stuff. They do other stupid things, like embezzling large quantities of money and then forging letters from the IRS to cover it up. But not the sex thing. The pantyhose stay on. Even Anita Massengil didn't fool around. Well, she tried to, but Chip Rommel kept shutting her down. Which, let's face it, is probably for the best.


David Isaak said...

You're misunderstanding the direction of causality. Guys wouldn't become leaders of the free world if they didn't think, int the backs of their little minds, that it was going to get them laid.

Remove sex from the equation, fill the planet with just guys, and we really wouldn't do much of anything. Certainly we wouldn't spend years learning to play the guitar or win debates. Hell, we wouldn't even have furniture. Or houses. Or showers.

Sad, but true.

Jen Ster said...

Wow. I had no idea...

Course I do remember a Playboy cartoon from way back when (I only read it for the cartoons, ya know) where a car salesman is telling a customer, "And not only does it make 60 in 5.5 seconds, but we guarantee it will get you laid the first week."

It's all starting to make sense now...