Jen's Review of "White Noise 2"

Playing on the iPod: David Sylvian
Meters swum today: Not so much. 1600 yesterday, though.

Two stars out of five. Didn't like it.

White Noise 2 is as much a sequel to the Michael Keaton thriller as Slither is to Serenity, but that's not why I'm giving it two stars. It only deserves the one, and that because I'm generous. There are too many laughably stupid moments to count, plenty of "But that would never happen" incidents (yeah, I'm sure the mental hospital where they're holding the man who shot your family to death won't have ANY problem with you coming by to visit him; heck, they'll even let you into his ROOM) and the scares, while sometimes effective, seem artificial and contrived. Nathan Fillion merits the extra star. His performance is by turns funny, tragic, driven and angry, and there's one laugh-out-loud moment that wouldn't be possible without his presence and his sense of humor. That said, you can see a much better movie in Slither and still get your Nathan fix. Still, if you're gonna insist on renting this turkey, you have been warned.