Namo amitabha Buddhaya, y'all.
This here's a religious establishment. Act respectable.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

A quickie on a subject that does not interest me and involving a substance I no longer consume.

Meters swum today: 1900. (I'm at 54 miles for the year! YAY!!)
Playing in the background: Exuvaie, "Answers from Nowhere"

I'm at work cleaning up a tremendous mess dumped on me by a departing lawyer, but just for a little while because I'm on my way up to the airport to get my aunt Betty. On my way in to downtown, I saw this billboard (in Dallas on a Saturday traffic is light enough that you can actually look at billboards) for Coors Light Beer. It said something like, "New vent! Makes for a smoother pour!" with an illustration of the aluminum can with its little vent and of course the beer, if it can be called beer, pouring "smoothly". A little farther along, there was another billboard for the same brand of beer. "When the mountain turns blue, it's ready to drink!" this one announces. Apparently there's a new high-tech can design (amazing what they can do these days, isn't it?) that allows the mountain to turn blue when it's at the optimum temperature for human consumption.

Now, I do not drink beer, or anything else alcoholic--haven't for about three years--but I have this hazy memory of Coors Light Beer. I believe we referred to it in my circle as "mouse piss" or "carbonated water." There's a line from a song by one of my favorite singing groups, the Corsairs, "Don't wash your trotters in the port wine tub when we've got Coors Light Beer." There's even a joke: "Why is Coors Light Beer like having sex in a canoe? Because it's fucking close to water."

Then, today, all these billboards about their new, improved can. Now, I don't drink the stuff anymore, hopefully never will again, but I still gotta wonder: Wouldn't it be easier to just make a better beer? I'm just asking.

Off to the airport now...

Confidential to Kellum: The cats are alright. The lizard didn't come out. His eyes were still beady, however.

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